In our weekly offer roundup, we’ve compiled the most boring things on earth. Why, you ask? Because our new offers are too fun; we needed to balance their unprecedented arousal. Check it out for yourself.
- Weekly Roundups
There was a time when weekly roundups were a novelty! Grimy boys in ill-fitting caps would shout, “Weekly roundup, weekly roundup,” and they would sell out instantly. Everyone was buzzing about them; it was considered impolite not to be up-to-date on the latest weekly roundup. On Thursdays, people would wake up with a smile because they knew today would be a good day. Weekly roundup day. It’s good that those days haven’t passed, and we simply wrote this boring recursive passage. And then there’s our wonderful offer: Papierkram (DE) – accounting tool – 15%
- Dust
Okay, let’s talk about something absolutely boring now. Dust. Although, if you think about it, it’s quite interesting: imagine a lab studying dust. It contains all sorts of things: leaves and dead skin, possibly particles from long-dead celebrities, particles from all over the world that somehow ended up under your bed, the Great Library of Alexandria, crushed triceratops horns, and who knows. Well, maybe our offer might be more interesting: BILL (US) – financial operations platform – $38.5
- Queues
We’ve already failed two points. It’s not exactly boring. We’ll try to improve. Queues are boring, but then why do people line up in them? And yes, everyone has smartphones now, so you can do whatever you want while you wait. Don’t lose patience, we’ll soon discover the most boring thing on earth. But it’s definitely not our new offer: TaxCycle (WW) – professional tax software – $192.5
- Second and subsequent seasons of popular series
Once a series manages to wow viewers with its first season, it only gets worse and worse until it becomes completely boring. Let’s dump a bunch of mysteries and plotlines on the public that we never intend to see through to a logical answer or even a decent conclusion. That’s how modern screenwriters think. Although, I can immediately think of series whose second seasons were just as good. Okay, let’s move on. Here’s our offer: SMTP2GO (WW) – mailing platform – 15.38%
- Hype
We’ve finally found the most boring thing in the world – hype. Paradoxically, the joyful anticipation of something has become boring. Modernity has broken our dopamine receptors. Give us back our boredom. Sweet idleness, bright longing, sadness, nostalgia, melancholy, and the blues. Or we don’t need boredom anymore. If you like it, here’s our invigorating offer: Checkr (US) – employee background screening – $115
